# SVR snaps back at Biden

**gru.gq/2021/04/17/svr-snaps-back-at-biden/**

grugq April 17, 2021

On April 15th the US dropped a load of sanctions on Russia for election interference, and
hacking, and generally being Russia. There is a lot of good info to unpack from the
sanctions, but for now let’s look at the way Russia’s foreign intelligence service, the SVR,
has responded to being called Cozy Bear. (Hint: They don’t like it)

## He said

The collection of statements from the US and NATO is here:
[https://grugq.tumblr.com/post/648536288464683009/us-sanctions-russia-for-cyber-roundup](https://grugq.tumblr.com/post/648536288464683009/us-sanctions-russia-for-cyber-roundup)

## She said

Here is the original statement from the SVR:

[http://svr.gov.ru/smi/2021/04/kino-da-i-tolko.htm](http://svr.gov.ru/smi/2021/04/kino-da-i-tolko.htm)

To understand what they’re saying you should know the scene from the movie they’re talking
about. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnapping,_Caucasian_Style Which is available on](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnapping,_Caucasian_Style)
YouTube (and worth a watch, it’s funny). Watch from 13:20 to see the scene that the SVR is
referencing.


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Watch Video At:

https://youtu.be/PmaZ0SlyZ9E

## An Old Comedy, the SVR

The scene the SVR quotes is when the police have arrested the protagonist for a drunken
escapade.

The protagonist is a research student in the Caucuses collecting old customs and toasts (the
phrases said before drinking.) The villagers made him drink for every toast they tell him, and
he gets blackout drunk. We cut to him, hung over and recovering in a police station. The cop
is reading the complainr.

**Cop: ..he disrupted the marriage ceremony. And then, on the ruins of the chapel…**

**Protagonist: Did I ruin the chapel?**

**Cop: No, that was before you. In the 14th century.**

## Much lol

They’re saying that US’ claims about the cyber attacks are like the statement from the cop
about the ruined chapel — completely unrelated.

After dismissing the entire release from the US Intelligence Community (IC) by comparing it
to a joke from a 1967 Soviet comedy, things get real. The SVR is very incensed that the US
IC is calling them names.


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Let s just say that reading nonsense is not very interesting: Today, the United States
officially declares that the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR), also known as
ART 29, Cozy Bear and The Dukes is the culprit in a large-scale espionage campaign
… The US intelligence community fully trusts its assessment regarding the SVR, ”the
release says. And then again, a quote from the film classics: “You have no right! The
elder didn’t say that!”

For an intelligence agency, not a very professional way of writing. But it is hilariously crude.
Sorta like:
“Vasha, you see what the Americans are saying about us?”
“What?”
“They say we hacked SolarWinds, and we interfered with the election and we…”
“Ha! It’s like, ‘and then, on the ruins of the chapel’ from that movie?”
“Hahaha. That’s good! Let’s use that”

## First of their name

The thing is, they are furious. While the GRU embraced “Fancy Bear” the SVR is not having
it. They are not “APT 29”. They are not “The Dukes.” And they are absolutely not “Cozy
Bear”!

In all this verbiage, the most unpleasant thing is: “The SVR of Russia, also known as
…”. Sorry, gentlemen, but the SVR of Russia has been known to the whole world since
1920 as the Foreign Department of the Cheka, the 5th Department of the First
**Directorate of the NKVD of the USSR. Since the middle of the last century – the**
**First Chief Directorate of the KGB of the USSR, and now – the Foreign**
**Intelligence Service of the Russian Federation.**

Not The Dukes. Not APT 29. And. not. fucking. Cozy. Bear!

## That’s All Folks

The entire response is just five paragraphs.

1. A reference to a joke from a 1960s soviet comedy film.
2. A summary of the President Biden’s statement, to wit: “he explained to mankind what a

threat Russia poses to the World.”
3. The quote, above, in which the US IC calls SVR “Cozy Bear.”
4. Full throated statement of their lineage and their name.
5. They wax ecstatic about the glorious history of Russian secret police. Really.

That is the entire statement. The response to the two press releases from the US Treasury
department, a statement by President Biden, statements from France, NATO, and the EU is
just these five paragraphs. The main points being that accusations of spying, against them,


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the intelligence service, is laughable. Furthermore they are the SVR, first of their name, from
the proud lineage of Russian secret police, and not Cozy fucking Bears!

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